The Show.

Brendan Ryan is just not the same without his mustache. And I don't think the Cardinals are the same without it either. Last year when Ryan sported this legendary stache, he was not only the face of an entire organization (well, him and Pujols I guess), but he was the face of an entire GENERATION. This stache goes all the way back to the 1920's, and when he pulls his pant legs up so you can see his striped socks, a combination manifests that simply can't be beat.

Last year's mustache brought with it a lot of success for Ryan. With it, he finished the year hitting .292 in 129 games. This year, Ryan came in without the mustache, and in the first 27 games of the season he's hitting a mere .180. Now, this cannot be a coincidence folks. Last year when I looked at Ryan I saw a swagger that I just don't see anymore.
Now of course a lot of people say it's early, that he'll come around, etc. etc. This may be true, but can someone please tell me a better way of breaking a slump than growing a mustache? We saw Jason Giambi do it a few years back. He started his 2008 season hitting just .191 in mid-May, then he lost the razor and things totally turned around for him. He ended up hitting .247 while belting 32 home runs and driving in 96 RBI's. You can't tell me he would have done that without a mustache.

So even though the Cardinals sit atop their division at the moment, I think they would do themselves much good to realize that their key to success lies right under Brendan Ryan's nose. The Cardinals won their division last year with the stache. Just imagine how far they'd get this year if Pujols had a Brendan Ryan mustache...